Sex Toys Save Lives

For women, it may be a large, erect, phallus. Perhaps even one that vibrates and swirls and glows in the dark. For guys, it could be a fleshlight, a pocket pussy, or yes, even a blow-up doll. While I’ve had no experience with any of these things, I do subscribe to the theory that sometimes you gotta do what it takes to satisfy your carnal desires.

So does Yang, an old guy from Shanghai. After his wife died and his son left to pursue his studies, Yang was one lonely dude. With the need to get off every once in a while, he purchased a blow-up doll in hopes of gaining some companionship. I guess his arthritic hands just weren’t cutting it. Yang and his doll lived the good life, frolicking behind closed doors till all hours of the night, giggling and laughing about all the things they just did. Okay, Yang was the only one giggling, but that’s besides the point. Yeah, they had it real good, until the Internet ruined everything.

Yang was perusing an online forum one day, and saw all the negative comments folks were leaving about others who owned blow-up dolls. They called them losers and creeps and people who were fucked up in the head. Poor Yang. He took it personally and cried for days. Too shamed to go on, he decided to kill himself.

The old Asian went out onto his sixth floor balcony with his doll, said good-bye to this cruel world, and jumped! Onlookers were in shock, since they thought he was holding a little girl. They shielded their eyes as Yang hit the ground and a large BANG was heard, which they assumed was Yang’s insides splattered all over the sidewalk.

Nope, it was his blow-up doll.

Yang’s love-you-longtime gal broke his fall, thus saving his life. Yang was knocked unconscious, but eventually made a full recovery at a nearby hospital.

Ladies, can you believe this guy is single?