Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Nobody Gives Sarah Silverman Compliments

Sarah-Silverman-1Sarah Silverman wants you to know she’s dating people. She pretty much wants you to know a lot about her, now that her show is starting back up on Comedy Central. Chief among those things? That men don’t give her compliments.
Meaning, Jimmy Kimmel. Meaning, that’s how gossip mags have taken it. Aww, lawdy. That’s sad. Sarah Silverman is not getting enough attention, people. From men, or anybody. All of her basic stand-up sets seem to be geared towards attention whoring, so the fact that she wasn’t getting much attention from men is surprising. Absolutely shocking. I’m left dumbfounded and grasping for the veil of language.
Here is a list of compliments I would give Sarah Silverman.
  1. You are really funny! – Not because she is, but because I feel her entire personality is gravitating towards her belief of that fact.
  2. You look like a Jewy version of my aunt! – Because she does.
  3. Poking fun of racial stereotypes is in no way a passé form of comedy! – It’s so difficult to pull your eyes together and make Chinese noises. Which reminds me. I should copyright the phrase Chinese noises.
  4. Your show, despite being completely absent of anything compelling, made it to a second season! Congratulations! – Self explanatory.
Here’s to Jimmy Kimmel, handing Leno’s ass to him, and staying classy in the celebrity din. I will pour out my forty.

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